Witching hour confessional

So it’s 2 a.m. and I just made it home before the “witching hours,” as I like to call the time between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. when it’s just plain stupid to be out driving around. I figure that since there’s hardly any cars on the road during those hours, you have that much more probability of getting pulled over. Right? And most people are in bed sleeping at that time so it’s quite likely that the people out and about then are up to no good. Personally, I prefer to eliminate the possibility of getting in trouble all together and stick to my “witching hours” rule. Don’t go anywhere from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. if at all possible and definitely not between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m.! This rule is among the most infamous of the compilation I’ve created over the years. I actually used to hold people hostage at my house so no one would be seen coming or going during those hours either.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had to enforce the “witching hours” rule, thank God! It’s far easier to just stick to it myself and I rarely have to do that anymore. This is an obvious testament to how much my life has changed since I started to distance myself from the drug world and certain people in it. Lately, I’ve been noticing the difference in my way of thinking compared to when I was right up in the thick of that scene.

One huge example is that I actually trusted another drug addict in active addiction, knowing how high he was, to simply wait in my car for an hour while I was in a meeting. Hello, Stupid! Needless to say, when I came outside after the meeting, my car was not where I parked it, nor was it anywhere in the vicinity. Plus, my dumbass waited around for an hour and a half holding out some sort of hope that he might show back up with an excuse or something. I don’t think it really set in that my car had been stolen until the next day when I had to start thinking about police reports and insurance claims and all that other responsible stuff that normal people do when their car magically disappears.

It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t know any better but I do. I just wasn’t thinking with that mindset. In some ways, I’m grateful that I don’t have to be on point all the time like I used to. Honestly though, I don’t think I was ever really on any point at all or able to capture any type of criminal mindset either. For one thing, I’m a terrible liar. I can’t even keep one going long enough to get my car back without telling on myself to my family about how my car got stolen in the first place. Once again, I know better.

Now I have to clean up the mess I created or at least try to mend the broken trust and disappointment I caused. I haven’t even spoken with my dad since he caught the dishonesty and called me out on it. I know he feels like I was trying to play him for a fool and in a way, I was. If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn’t have been so worried about his reaction to the truth and realized my honesty was far more important than anything. I completely understand the impending consequences that threaten my financial stability. Tough love is still love and I know my family just wants me to live up to my potential instead of just wasting the years I’ve been blessed with.

So pray for me. I need all the prayers I can get right now. Don’t give up on me yet. I’m still fighting.