My love goes out to all the angels who continue to shed their magic on my life and make my crazy look beautiful. You have created a state of awe and wonder for me to rest in. Thank you for everything that can be seen and that which remains unseen.
An Inconvenient Truth
I’m all about changing the perception our world has of mental illness. We need to start teaching kids that crazy is the new cool! People need to know that our depression and mania is due to our sensitivity to feelings that are extreme and deep and overwhelming. In my opinion, what society calls an illness is in actuality a God-given gift. We didn’t ask to be born this way but it makes us special and should never be looked down upon. I proudly claim my crazy because it makes me who I am. It’s a part of us that we can’t just turn on and off whenever it’s convenient. Society needs a better understanding of what it means to live a life of mental disarray. I consider us warriors for battling an inner war day after day and continuing to live the best we can when it has taken the lives of so many.
Trust in God. He sends angels to our aid when we most need them. You’re only alone when you don’t give anyone a chance to help you. Break the cycle that’s breaking you. Baby steps in the right direction are better than a familiar step toward ultimate destruction. Choose to take control of your life by letting go of what controls you. Scars are earned; they prove you fought through the pain and overcame. Become the warrior that’s been hidden deep inside. Unlock the doors that hold memories unwanted. Open the floodgates with deserving tears, allowing them to soak the solid ground you stand on. Break down the walls that block out moments your fear has cunningly kept from you.
It’s time to face the demons and whatever else you’ve hidden from yourself. With God by your side, you will not falter or be overwhelmed. You will meet the challenges that come along the way and know that with each one down, you come that much closer to who you’re meant to be. It’s not a race. Live at your own pace. This process is yours and you have the faith to drive through it. Love fearlessly and be proud of YOU!
I knew it was coming and tried to prepare for it as much as anyone with bipolar disorder can, but it still hits you like a ton of Mac trucks. Not only do I deal with bipolar but I also live with numerous chronic health conditions that came after battling cancer over a decade ago. For some reason, the physical health issues seem to come exactly when I crash from a manic period. I don’t know how or why that happens, but it never fails.
So basically I’ve spent the past two days in bed going through these sweating fits that I assume are hormonal in nature. There’s really no rhyme or reason to their onset so there’s no way to prepare or plan on how to work your day around them. I just have to bundle up in sweats and a hoodie to grin and bear the grossness of profuse sweating while trying not to soak anything else other than what I’m wearing. They usually last for 30 minutes but come and go throughout the day. And there’s no telling what day it will happen. Or how many days it may continue.
I have important things I need to take care of tomorrow so I can’t afford to lose another day to this annoying symptom that I’ve yet to understand where it comes from. I’m in the process of looking for a new place since my lease is up at the end of the year and I already have an appointment set up for tomorrow. I don’t want to miss out on finding the perfect place for me so I pray that I don’t see the beginning of a true crashing spiral.
Usually my crashes start out with some health problem laying me up in bed for a day and then it just seems to get harder and harder to get out of bed as each day passes. The spiral begins. Then the spiral takes over. I’m trying really hard to stay aware of my shifts and cycles so I can prevent them from controlling my life like they always have. I’m praying really hard that I will get out of bed and function tomorrow instead of losing another day.
I just need to express my gratitude for those random people who cross your path and remind you that we are all connected and no one should ever feel alone in their struggles. It’s so rare and refreshing when you find evidence of prior travelers on the path you’re stumbling along.
We need to stop considering mental illnesses as negative aspects to who we are. God designed each one of us as perfect for His plans and purpose. We should embrace it as one of the qualities that makes us unique and special and beautiful in God’s eyes. That just gave me a thought… maybe we should just start suggesting to kids these days that “crazy” is the new “cool.”
Okay, I’m getting sidetracked here. My whole reason for this post is to share my appreciation for a fellow blogger Revenge of Eve. This poetry spoke to me like it was written specifically for that purpose, for me. Be amazed….
via I Get It