Middle Ground

This Middle Ground…

A place I just don’t understand,

And definitely don’t belong.

Confusion and uncertainty

Envelopes everything here.

Yet I choose to stay.

Stuck like limbo.

Not wanting to go back,

But afraid to move forward.

I only see in shades of grey

As if I’m colorblind.

No black or white,

No dark or light.

I’ve been here far too long

Just wearing down on me.

Stagnant, claustrophobic

It makes no sense to me.

The unending, constant never known.

I search and search,

But lost my comfort zone.

I can’t seem to find it here,

And starting to wonder

If it even exists at all anymore?

How do I create a new one,

Or learn to live without it?

No… fuck that!

Where the hell am I anyhow?

No comfort zone?

I’m not having it!

Gotta find the exit sign…

Gotta find it…

If this is the Middle Ground,

I must lift my head.

Look up and see the truth.

The Higher Ground

Is right within my reach.

Just waiting for a choice,

The right choice,

The one I never make.

Maybe it’s time I change this place?

Maybe it’s time I change myself?

Maybe it’s time…

Middle of the Fire

Dancing in the middle of the fire,
Praying to God that I don’t get burned.
Sitting in a cloud of smoke,
As the world around me still continues to turn….

Where do I go from here,
When I don’t even know where I am?
How do I tell someone what I want to do,
When I don’t even know who the hell I am?
I don’t know how to live or love or be myself,
Without playing with the chemicals inside my brain.
So used to my own warped sense of reality,
That I can’t simply stop and just abstain.
It shouldn’t have to be this hard
To let go of something that’s killing me.
But I keep straying down the same old path,
Going where I was never supposed to be.

Dancing in the middle of the fire,
Praying to God that I don’t get burned.
Sitting in a cloud of smoke,
As the world around me still continues to turn….

I can’t turn back now,
Even though I wish I could.
I turn around and it’s the same old shit,
Ending up in the same damn spot I’ve always stood.
I need a future that isn’t based on constant lies,
Where I can change what life I have here
Into something that might make my family proud.
I need a life that’s free from fear!
This wasn’t what I was meant to be!
Capable of so much more,
With a purpose that’s been stifled,
And kept me down when I’m supposed to soar!

Dancing in the middle of the fire,
Praying to God that I don’t get burned.
Sitting in a cloud of smoke,
As the world around me still continues to turn….

Wanting to crawl out of the shadows I’m shackled in,
To blind myself with the shining sun.
Please someone come help me before it’s too late.
Before I fear it’s all been said and done.
Rain pour down and flood this fire!
Let my love be meant for something more!
Pour down like the tears I’ve already wasted,
On people, on times, on nothing to live for.
Wash my sins away and each regret,
So as to know my smile is real.
Take off this mask I hide behind.
Show me the way I haven’t figure out just yet.

Dancing in the middle of the fire,
Praying to God that I don’t get burned.
Sitting in a cloud of smoke,
As the world around me still continues to turn….